Last year I blew out my left knee in a skiing accident. It was absolutely devastating. My immediate thoughts hovered frantically around concern about getting back to teaching yoga, wondering if my knee was ever going to be the same, even stressing about how I would pay my bills. The incident shook my center and rattled my being. Reality set in when the results to the MRI came back – a torn ACl, medial and lateral meniscus.
I decided to have surgery. After two weeks of immobilization, the bandages were removed and what a shock. I didn’t recognize my own leg. It looked awful. Memories of my mother, post car crash, came flooding back from 13 years before. The nervous tension, post traumatic stress, the anxiety. More fears and questions started racing through my brain. How will I recover? Will I ever be free from pain? Will I learn to walk normally again? My husband looked at me and said, “Adi, this is your yoga, do your yoga.” He left me for about an hour and I started breathing. I began practicing a calming breathing technique that immediately returned me to the moment. My fears and assumptions about the future began to dissolve as I came back to center.
From that day on the healing really began, and my injury became my teacher.
When you have a physical limitation, a chronic illness, pain, or an injury, sometimes you have to learn how to get out of your own way. Instead of harping on the negative, it can be an opportunity to grow awareness and sensitivity within your body and mind. By really tuning in and coming back to the moment, you can learn so much about the way you handle resistance and/or difficulty and begin to cater to your needs. Your level of compassion expands significantly for yourself and others.
Martin Luther King said, “The measure of a man is not determined during times of ease and comfort, the measure of a man is determined during times of difficulty and challenge.” Our challenge is our therapy if we are willing to open and learn from the experience.
I have read all of your comments and feedback, and am so touched and inspired by how much our classes have encouraged and impacted so many. In particular, I read about limitations that some of you are working with, and how you have progressed by really listening to your body and modifying your postures.
This is yoga. It is not forcing, it is not critical, it is not competing with yourself or others. Yoga is listening and feeling, even when what we hear and feel is difficult. From that space we become our own teachers and learn more about ourselves than we could have ever imagined.
It has been one year since my surgery and I still struggle with pain and physical limitations. I have allowed myself to slow down and accept the change that is present in my body. One lesson learned from this obstacle has been to truly uncover the intricacies of how yoga really works. For me it is not about perfecting the physical body, it is about being present. From there I can listen; and through listening, I come to know myself.
Thank you so much for sharing this! It was really humbling and I pray for your physical health and wellbeing.
p.s. Those photos are amazing!
yeah, thanks for sharing this, adi.
i am deeply touched. i also recovered from a bad desease and it is so true that it becomes your teacher.
now that i m so much better for such a long time i sometimes forget that in my everyday life.
thanks for reminding me.
after all it always feels so good to come back to yourself.
much love,
barbara
p.s.: great pics! you are a super woman! :-)
Adi,
I’m touched by your post! I’m happy you’re recovering and back practicing even tho still workin trough discomfort after a whole year. Such a strong woman. And such a lovely evidence how yoga deeply has changed your perspective of life and turn all that happens into a blessing. I wish the same for all, this post is an important reminder for everyone.
Love and enjoy life as it is – every day,
om shanti
Dear Adi, we are truly blessed to have your insight on a coarser spot of your life. I rings true to my view of life’s challenges in a gentle and loving way. I struggle sometimes with performance and perfection while practicing yoga and your comment sparked a need in me to focus on gentle moments of practice. It would be great if you, Neesha & Sarah presented more sequences for situations of physical limitations (ex: colds, injuries, even cancer?!). I’ve followed a class with Sarah about that subject but still its great to have different insights.
Bonne santé à toi et les tiens
Anaïs
Adi,
Thank you for sharing this, I started following your classes a couple of years ago. Having a daily practice with yogatoday.com inspired me to enroll in a teacher training last year. About a month after it began, I too blew out my knee in a skiing accident. I was devastated and scared that I would have to drop put of the program. I decided to continue and have ACL reconstruction surgery. I had to let go of all my expectations of what I would learn in my program and let my knee be my teacher. After surgery I too was shocked at how quickly my leg had shrunk before my eyes. Continuing to practice after my injury and surgery taught me that I had to meet my body exactly where it was and throw out striving, comparing and forcing. I am now this week one year from my surgery and one month from graduating from my 18 month program and teaching yoga. I have learn so much about fear, healing, and perseverance through this process and hope that t makes me a better teacher. Again, thank you for your inspired words. It is comforting to know that someone I respect so much as a teacher went through the same experience.
Sincerely,
Tracy Remelius
Thank you all so much for your support and positivity! I appreciate all of your kind words and blessings, and am thankful for you sharing your personal experiences with me.
Barbara…
I agree, we tend to forget after recovery the importance of listening and taking care of ourselves. Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make.
Anais…
We will definitely incorporate more shows that are geared toward physical ailments and imbalances.
Tracy…
I wish you the best with the recovery of your knee. It is a great lesson, and will make you a better teacher. Best wishes on your path of teaching yoga.
Many Blessings,
Adi Amar
Hi everyone!
This is especially for Anais: Look in our blog archive to find knee therapy, and shoulder therapy is coming up. Personally, I do a sequence similar to the “bed time yoga” when I have a cold, am on the first day of my menstrual cycle or am feeling under the weather. The sequence of “yoga for the weary traveler” (I believe Sarah did this one). Is also suitable for helping your body when you are under the weather. Don’t forget about good old fashioned rest too! I am a fan of that!
Thanks for the input and thanks for the inspiration Adi,
Namsate,
neesha
As always Adi, you give me mantras that I can tell myself over and over again as I move myself off my yoga mat and into the rest of my life. I am at a critical time in my life where I am constantly judging myself and questioning whether or not I am where I need to be… but you constantly remind us that “where we are today is exactly where we need to be.” When I am doing yoga, I can just “be”, and I can find self acceptance. Thank you so much for your insight and your positivity!
Diana
Thank you for sharing these beautiful, inspiring and uplifting words of encouragement with us, Adi. I am fortunate and grateful to not currently be dealing with any physical injuries or ailments, but I think we can all find ways to apply this wisdom to our lives.
Namaste
adi
your courage helps me in dealing with my ankle which is lacking now in cartilage. im trying with yoga to rebuild this lack of tissue and the resulting stiffness.
downward dog is my best buddy!!!
thanks for the great guidance and inspiration and for sharing your deep personal challenge.
good luck and please go on teaching us..
nada
Thank you so much for sharing. I also had ACL reconstruction in December and then total hysterectomy last Wednesday. Your words of encouragement have helped me focus on the positive and not the negative.
Again, thank you so much,
Leland
Adi
You are a source of inspiration for me, thank you for share this experience and let us learn from your hard times. I admire so much your courage and positive mind, when I read you I feel I can deal with my own difficult times.
Diana
Baja California, Mexico
Hello all,
I am so glad to see a discussion of the acceptance of physical limitations. I struggle with self-judgement and ego frustration around my chronic hip and structural imbalance issues, and it really detracts from my practice. The most ironic thing about my injuries is that I gave them to myself by practicing above my level before building strong foundations.
It is so easy to fall into comparison and competition, and to forget the truth of yoga. If anything good can come of unfortunate circumstances, I hope that our community can recommit to the idea of giving grace to our bodies and working honestly at our edges without pushing too hard.
Sat Nam
Lydia
Newbie here, on a journey towards healing. Thank you for your wonderful words of inspiration.
What about Pilates?
Beautifully said. This is a blog post that I will find myself returning to often; sometimes we need reminders that breathing, refocusing on the moment, and not letting our pain or fears dominate us brings us back to our strength. Thank you.
Namaste